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« Partee-Borschev Grant Group | Main | Semantics Reading Group»

Life in the Wilds of Amherst

Which is scarier to you: the deer or the Q Train? (Which is more annoying: the crickets or the garbage trucks?)

From Home, Sweet ... Yikes! (New York Times, October 26, 2007):

"New York thinking applied to nature equals paranoia," said Augusten Burroughs, the author of the memoir "Running with Scissors," from his country house on the outskirts of Amherst, Mass., which he and his partner, Dennis Pilsits, built three years ago. Since then, Mr. Burroughs, 42, has poured several book advances into what he calls his "prison in the trees" in an effort to defend his rustic outpost "from nature in all its malicious glory." This includes installing an $8,000 lightning protection system and spending $2,000 on various military-grade "tactical illumination devices" --- flashlights --- and even a pair of night-vision goggles, thanks to some terrifying encounters with nocturnal neighbors.

Late one recent night, Mr. Burroughs had gone out to check the mailbox when he saw two green, glittering eyes, triangular ears "and the general impression of height" in the shadows. When the creature began to walk toward him, Mr. Burroughs ran into the garage, fearing for his life. "Our skinny, gym-polished urban bodies are no match for anything that scratches its back on a tree," he said. "Whatever it was, it was both curious and unafraid --- two traits one does not admire in wildlife when one is alone in the dark."

And it’s not just what lurks outside that sends imaginations running wild. Even the houses themselves can send chills up one’s spine. "You climb into bed, and suddenly you hear groans, creaks and low, deep thumping sounds, as though there are rabbits trapped inside the walls, or fingers gently teasing the exterior window frames," Mr. Burroughs said. "Not a night goes by that I am not absolutely convinced somebody has entered the house and they do not have a conscience."

[Thanks Christine Bartels and Angelika!]

November 1, 2007 12:06 AM | 05:29 (2007-11-01) , miscellany